A movie reviewer I follow and admire a lot said in one of her reviews that when you love someone, you don’t love that person fully; you find portions of that person to love, parts of them you enjoy, facets of their personality you want to indulge with. Being curious is very common in human nature. A person doesn’t realize things he/she is not getting in their romantic relationship, and then he/she begins to look for them outside the relationship. You can find those things in any person you know, and sometimes, people find love in someone so far outside their relationship that it is conveniently termed as cheating in the most traditional terms. Up to what extent the desire to be fulfilled is incorrect? Who made the rules of marriage that need to be followed by all, and why sex is the most sacred thing to the sanctity of a romantic relationship. Maybe that’s why marriages are said to be nothing, but hard work, where you keep convincing yourself that you are happy when you really may not be and long for something else. But in marriages, one is expected to be in a certain way.
Karan Johar’s 2006 directorial Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna pretty much talks about the same thing. Two instances or dialogues in the film clearly justify the love of Dev (Shahrukh Khan) and Maya (Rani Mukherji). The love that broke all relationships. One is during Kamaljeet’s (Kirron Kher) birthday dinner when Dev says, ‘rishtey baaton se nahi haalaaton se bante hai, koi nahi jaanta ki kyu koi rishton mein phisalta hai, kyu rishton ke bahaar pyaar ho jaata hai’. The second one is when Samarjeet (Amitabh Bachchan) is on his deathbed advising Maya to leave her husband Rishi (Abhishek Bachchan) because he thinks ‘mohabbat aur maut dono bin bulaye mehmaan hote hai, inpar kisi ka zor nahi chalta‘ Both these lines can be considered as facts as there isn’t much to argue about them. The film also tells that the more one tries to create boundaries in a relationship, the fear of breaking them is high too.
At the very beginning in Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna Karan Johar tells us that there was a certain amount of compromise Dev and Maya made when they got married. Dev wanted to convert his friendship with Rhea (Preity Zinta) into a relationship because he believed that would be an ideal marriage. Maya is pretty much clear that her marriage with Rishi is some kind of favour she is returning to him and his father as she is not sure about her love for Rishi. Dev, being married for nine years, and Maya for four years, start to feel suffocated in their marriages, and both have their reasons for it. While Dev finds it hard to live with his failed dreams, Maya struggles to figure out her love for Rishi. Maya and Rishi could never fit into each other’s space, making it difficult for both of them to make their marriage work. There is a similar void in Dev and Maya’s lives, which they realize after spending some brief time together at a party. It comes as a pleasant surprise that Dev and Maya realize about sailing in the same ship with the Kamaljeet and Samarjeet’s formula of solving a problem which is, ‘do ajnabee, ek haalaat, phir dosti’.
The beauty of Dev and Maya’s bond lies in its intention which was to save their respective marriages. Even though depicted humorously, their aim to do so was pure. During the song ‘Mitwa’, they wish to be together and dream about it in the song but are well aware of the fact that it’s not an ideal thing to do. Problems begin when Rhea becomes vocal about her hard work and struggles to fill in the gap that rose because of Dev’s circumstantial inability to provide the kind of support their family and relationship needed. Being a woman in a male-dominated work demands extra effort from her which Reha wasn’t complaining about but that came at a cost of distance from her partner. On the other hand, Maya and Rishi struggle to find their common ground to make their marriage work. Rishi has expressed his love for Maya a zillion times, but it is Maya who is not sure about her feelings for him, making it difficult for her to reciprocate his love. Finally, Dev decides to break the ice and express his feelings for Maya fully aware that she loves him too.
The bond between Dev and Maya keeps on getting beautiful because even after knowing that they love each other, they are aware of the consequences of their relationship and even decide to leave that relationship respectfully (‘khoobsurat mod’ as said in the film). When Rhea and Rishi make an effort to make their marriages work, Dev and Maya are in full support of that despite missing being with each other and at that particular weekend, Rishi tells Maya, ‘pyaar mein kabhi kabhi galti ho jaati hai‘. This line deserves all the love on this planet. Karan Johar beautifully depicts a woman’s maturity and a man’s silliness. While Maya is strong enough to accept that she shares her love with another woman, Dev can’t even stand the sight of Rishi getting intimate with his wife Maya.
It is rightly said that life comes full circle. Dev and Maya, whose love began on Samarjeet and Kamaljeet’s philosophy of ‘do ajnabee, ek haalaat, phir dosti‘ and problem solved. It is both of them catching Dev and Maya, making them end their beautiful relationship. When Dev and Maya tell Rhea and Rishi about being unfaithful in the marriage, the latter two are unapologetic about their decision, and Karan Johar justifies them very well. Rhea is confident that had she been in Dev’s place, he would never forgive her, and that is not just in their particular relationship but in general too. A man can never accept his partner’s flaws easily as his fragile ego won’t allow it. In the case of Maya and Rishi, he becomes helpless as that’s the best he can do while being respectful to each other. Rishi decides to take a stand for himself and respect the love he has for Maya by letting her go.
While Dev and Maya’s feelings for each other were pure the power of marriage is unbelievable. When both of them separate from their respective partners, they don’t even bother to tell the truth to each other. Maybe they sensed the depth of their mistake and decided to move on. It is amusing to see the pole opposite nature of the two relationships shown in the film. When Rishi decides to get married again, he wants to invite Maya first, which means he still has some kind of affection for her, if not love. Dev and Rhea struggle to even strike a conversation when their marriage is legally ended. Imagine the kind of love they must be in during their younger days that now they are totally done with each other. Karan Johar throws another beautiful scenario in which Dev and Maya come together after Rhea and Rishi find their share of happiness. Maybe that’s the price Dev and Maya had to pay to finally be together.
Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna may have spoken about something that would make Indian audiences uncomfortable. Why is marriage important for two people to be together? Can’t they just be happy with each other without forcing themselves into such a relationship that requires legal action if they want to part ways? Karan Johar just spoke his mind and portrayed his opinion about marriages on celluloid. While I attempted to understand the relationship in this post, talking about the characters in it would take another post. The film is highly engaging and entertaining. Karan Johar, in his signature style, ensured everything in the film was larger than life. Every frame looked colourful, and the film’s visual appeal was simply superb. The music remains one of our all-time favourites even today for many of us. The film had some wonderful and thought-provoking dialogues. Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna is my go-to film for every mood, even today, and as there can be only one such film, it’s this one for me.
meri maaa, CINEMAAA 